That Look That Saved My Life!

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

-Psalms 34:18

Emotional healing is just as important as physical healing! I believe emotional healing is far more important because it then manifests itself in the physical. If not dealt with, the person then deals with the emotional and physical as it showcases in the physical, too. It becomes a double whammy.

Four years ago, I was forced to take a good look at what was happening to me emotionally. A good friend of mine, Maher, was in town, and he and I met for dinner. I will never forget that dinner. It was a huge wake up call, and a real turning point in my life. God used Maher to deliver a very strong and important message to me.

Throughout the evening, Maher had a look on his face. It was an intense look. I still see his eyes looking at me, and I don’t think I will ever forget that look, a memory permanently engraved in my mind. I knew deep in my heart what the look meant, but I was so hoping what I felt inside wasn’t actually portrait outwardly where people were seeing it too.

It started with the moment I opened my front door. His smile quickly turned into That look. I asked him in. He just stared at me for a moment still with that look. I showed him my Christmas tree. He was standing in front of my Christmas tree, and those lights were shining on his face. He turned around to talk to me, and the smile from looking at the Christmas tree, quickly turned back to That Look. As I got in the car, and I was putting the seatbelt on, I saw him looking at me out of the corner of my eye with That Look. At red lights, he turned to face me with That Look. Finally, in the restaurant, he verbalized that look.

“T (as he always calls me) I do not like what’s happening to you. Oh my God, what’s happening to you? Please, I do not like what I’m seeing.” I knew exactly what that look meant. It was a horrific look of my sadness. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know about it. My friends knew for a year that I had refused to look in a mirror. The reason I refused to look at mirrors was because I was seeing what Maher was seeing, and I couldn’t stand to see it. My mistake was I didn’t think everyone else could see it too. Maher wasn’t going to let me get away with it. I’m thanking God that he forced me to look at it, and he wouldn’t let it go right up to the second I was stepping out of his car.

That night when he dropped me off, he said, “T, please, please, please take care of yourself. I’m very bothered by what you have become. Where’s that smile of yours? Bring it back! You're just too sad. I really do not like seeing you hurt this way.” There was much more he said, but I was lost in the thoughts of what I allowed myself to become, I tuned out what else he was saying because That Look was my reality check, but the truth was I didn’t know how to get my smile back.

That night, I cried for hours on end. I knew what Maher said was true. I knew I had to overcome the sadness I felt. That night was a desperate, in-your-face, wake-up call. It was a turning point for me. I had a decision to make. Either I got up and did something about it, or just remain in that spirit of sadness until it totally destroyed me. I made a choice that night, I wasn’t going to stay in that dark pit of sadness. Slowly I started looking in mirrors. Sometimes for just a quick second, other times with one eye opened, and the other closed. I know pretty sad, but it is what it is and grateful that it was finally over.

I cried out to God that night, “Please God, step in, and help me. Please, I’ve been begging You not to take my joy. Now, my joy is gone. Please bring back my joy, and God, I don’t know how to do what Maher just said.” Here’s the amazing thing about God, He hears our desperate calls in the midst of the darkest hours as the waves come crushing in on us. He saves those who are crushed in spirit. So what does it mean to be crushed in spirit? How’s the word pulverized describe it? That’s what it means.

But when we cry out to God, He rushes in to saves us. That’s what He did for me. Days, weeks, months, and years I heard Maher’s words in my head. He saved me from that pulverization that was taking place in me. My broken heart, spirit, deep down to my soul was dying a slow and painful death. My friend Maher saved my life that night. God used him to shake me up. Forced me to see myself, and unknowingly, brought out the little bit of courage I had left to get me up again.

From that moment on, it was his look I saw everyday, and still do sometimes, to get me up and out of that deep, dark, pit I had fallen into. I’m forever grateful to him. He really saved my life.

God reminded me of the above passage. He gently whispered, “I’m with those who are brokenhearted.” My spirit was crushed, and my heart was broken. I want to confirm to you, broken hearts really do exist, but did you know you crush herbs to bring out the essential oils in them? Even though God allowed me to get crushed, He used that crushing to bring out a sweet aroma. How about that? God uses every trial to bring out the best in us if we allow him, too.

The sweet aroma arose because I chose to let God step in and help me. Let me be blunt. I didn’t choose revenge. I didn’t choose to hurt back. I didn’t choose to be destructive in the destruction itself. All those things plus much more produces the sweet aroma necessary to draw others who are hurting to you so they receive the same healing. After all essential oils are used for all sorts of illnesses. God uses the brokenness and crushed lives of the brokenhearted to bring forth His sweet aroma. Wow, God!

God did this for me, I know, know, know, He wants to do it for you! Please let this minister to you today. Go to God and speak to him, your way, your words, tell Him to save you from your crushed spirit. He is close to the brokenhearted and very quickly comes to save you from your crushed spirit.

Dr, Teresa Allissa Citro

INSIGHT: The Lord is our help in times of trouble, no matter what we are going through, no matter what we think or feel. He sees the condition of our heart and our spirit, and He still loves us. How can we even begin to understand that He knows everything about us (including the bad and the ugly and the worst) and yet He loves us and wants to be part of every aspect of our lives!!! He can heal our broken heart and crushed spirit IF we are willing to let Him get in and clean us up. And if you're at the end of your rope, then you are in the perfect position and place for God to step in and help you because there is nothing left of you in the way. He is Your Heavenly Father, and He is able to lift you up out of your hopelessness and set you on solid ground. The God of Heaven and Earth is able to reach down and save you from your despair.

MEDITATE: "I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord." (Psalm 40:1-3)

The hand of the Lord is powerful, and He will come down to your level to pull you up when you have fallen into quicksand that you can't get yourself out of. He is with you every single step of your journey, and He has not forgotten about you. Do you need assurance of God's promises? Deuteronomy 32:4 tells us, "The Rock! His work is perfect, For all His ways are just; A God of faithfulness and without injustice, Righteous and upright is He." Are you standing on the promises of God in the midst of your circumstances? Are you feeling hopeless? Remember your God is faithful. He cannot go against His character because He is not man. God does NOT lie nor does He change His mind. In other words God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. You are a child of the Most High God, and He has every resource ready and available for you to use. He is offering you all that He has to pull you out of the mud and mire of your circumstances and trials. Your God is powerful and He can move mountains. He is the Miracle-Working God, and He is the God of the Impossible. He is your Strength and your Song.

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, You are awesome in power and might . Your arm is not shortened that it cannot save, and You, O God, are able to deliver me out of mud and mire. My feet are firmly planted on solid ground because Your unfailing love has supported me. I will stand on the promises of Your Word because I know You are faithful and that You fulfill all Your promises. You are the Covenant-Keeping God. I put my hope in You, and I thank You for putting a new song in my heart. I will tell of Your goodness to me for You are my Song, and I will sing praises to Your name. Because You are my Help, I will not be disgraced for I have set my face like flint, determined to do Your will, so I will not be ashamed. I surrender all that I am to You. In Jesus Name, Amen. (Psalm 147:5, Isaiah 59:1, Psalm 40:1-3, Psalm 94:18, Joshua 23:6, 2 Thessalonians 2:15, Deuteronomy 7:9, Psalm 39:7, Psalm 28:7, Isaiah 63:7, Psalm 118:4, Psalm 9:2, Psalm 61:8)

Linda A. Knowles

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